Matriarchy

1000 words

I write this as a man who has no qualms about his god-given gender. I reject both most of so-called feminism and monogamy, which latter — for some would-be men — is a means to exclude rivals.

Young women are phenomenally fertile and attractive to men. This is how nature has ordained. My claim is that this fact must be accommodated.

Reminder: There is a perennial confusion about fertility. Strictly speaking, fertility is not about sperm count or eggs, but about how many of those born achieve maturity, i.e. an age where they can themselves reproduce.

This said, it is young women who, by birthright, are in charge of fertility. Or should be. But their birthright has long been subverted by the patriarchy.

Since the 1960’s women have had convenient — often chemical — ways of controlling their fertility. There is much to be questioned about this convenience. Already before, there were methods, more natural, but these have been given scant attention or been forgotten.

By nature, it is the women who give birth who are entangled in its consequences. The newborn must not only be fed, ideally with breastmilk, but washed and hugged. Those who are only washed and fed, die. Holding and kissing are essential. Men can do some of this too, but many are not instinctively aligned for this kind of care. The proper role of men emerges only later, when the children need to be introduced to the wider world.

It is against this background that I plead for matriarchy, which first must be spelt out. This has nothing to do with a feminism which wants equal pay or outcomes.

The life of a woman is fundamentally different from the life of a man. Exceptional women may cross the boundary, and take on men’s roles, but these remain exceptions, which come with expense.

A woman with child, whether newborn or toddler, cannot realistically go out and earn an income. She is needed at home, and whence should the income come, with us living in a society where almost everything is reduced to money?

A woman with young child is aware as no other of how much time & effort is needed to respond to its needs. She may be cautious about more children. This is the best defence against overpopulation. Assuming of course that she has the knowledge and power to direct her immediate fertility.

There was a time when a score or more of children was commonplace among women who had not succumbed to malnutrition and subsequent disease. It is not a scenario which bears reliving. Enough is enough.

…. whence should the income come, with us living in a society where almost everything is reduced to money?

The traditional answer is recourse to monogamous marriage, with husbands providing support or putative husbands hounded for alimony. Elsewhere I have castigated this solution, which I see as a root of our disarray. See my many essays over four decades at https://www.thinking-for-clarity.com/

My solution is very radical and will offend almost everyone.

Pregnancy does not come out of the blue. It comes from sex, whether solicited, or imposed by stealth, or just imposed.

Sometimes a payment in cash is made. This is much frowned upon. Why?

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It brings to mind what an older woman, long since deceased, who I knew extremely well, once related. This tale hurts me still. It happened in a “third world” country, likely in the late sixties. (I know details, withheld here). A man from her nation approached her with ten thousand US dollars and begged her to sleep with him. She proudly refused.

I was so shocked at her misplaced pride that I stayed silent. Shortly after, she phoned me to say that her daughter had died in a road accident, the same young mother of Léon, who I had known since puberty, and whose marriage I had declined to attend, a perfect driver, the same daughter who had asked her mother shortly before: why did you put me in the world?

I’d have spoken to Anne were it not that this tragedy had intervened. Still only middle-aged, she died herself within a year.

She should have refused the ten thousand dollars (worth vastly more today). Or accepted for the case that a child was born. Even in those days, ten thousand dollars would have been a modest recompense for the cost of raising a child born of love, even if, as is commonplace, the love was not mutual.

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There is nothing objectionable in a woman of child-bearing age receiving payment in connection with sleeping with a man — on the contrary.

It is alone the propaganda in favour of monogamy which maintains otherwise — propaganda reinforcing prejudice; propaganda in defiance of sentiment and resting on exclusion instead of inclusion. It is strict monogamy which leads to abuse such as occurs with sex being traded for money rather than money being a respectful accompaniment in view of future or current burdens.

Once this is comprehended, which will take generations if not ever and a day, we might move to matriarchy, which means with young women briefly in charge.

What is to become of the men?

It was famously Simone de Beauvoir who complained about women being traditionally condemned to their roles as child bearers. Indeed. The life of a woman is fundamentally different to that of the life of a man. With exceptions, until middle age at least, a woman’s life is mostly governed by awareness if not endurance of naturally imposed obligations.

The case with men is quite different, excepting those where circumstance has imposed on them too.

Men do not have a single default function. A few may revel in being fathers, but others will do only the necessary. Men must invent their role rather than, as women, just adopt and adapt to their fate.

Men are naturally stronger. Some may use their strength to excel at martial arts, but this is not for all. Others may excel in quite different and non-physical respects. Each must find a useful and satisfactory place in the world.

One role for manliness, and only for a few, I hazard, is to curtail the concentration of power. Some minor concentration of power is always necessary, but too much is too much. Manliness today would be to combat forcefully the compliance which enables vast concentrations of power. This may involve sacrifice.